02.

i hate, that..

well let me say it this way. i dislike the fact that, when i have gotten my complete sights on someone, and thinking that possibly, maybe if all goes well, he can share a piece of my soul, i get let down.

i cant tell whether, its something indirectly with them, myself, or little ways that i subconciously pick a man apart in order to safe face to not get my pride bruised along the way.

i’ve tried not being that way, over and over and over again

and i’ve tried over and over again not to compare the future, to the past—-but its hard.

its hard, to realize that you’ve talked or been with someone who fucked you over, and not hope the next guy doesnt. its hard not that have had your time wasted prior, and see repetitive patterns that make you already want to move on.

i’m trying, but this is like giving crack to a recovering crack addict.

or bringing guns to a gun show <—-nerdy cliche.

-erin.